New Theories…
I have a new theory and insight on things since recently going out for a girls night!
For the next month, I’m going to try my best not to be interested in guys. It sounds crazy, I know. But just hear me out, you ladies can try it too and see how it works out for you and give me some feedback.
My theory is, “getting a man” is hard. I mean, let’s be serious...getting a man in the sac is easy. But holding one down for more than a couple months tends to be a mission. And I think it’s like watching water boil, it ain’t gonna happen if you’re waitin for it! You have to set it aside, almost forget about it.
I’m happy enough as it is but I want to be at my prime in happiness. So for the next months instead of being conscious of what I’m doing to attract a certain someone, I’m going to dress to what I think is sexy, I’m going to spend a ton of money on myself. And almost be a selfish, self-absorbed bitch. I’m going to lavish myself with whatever my heart desires and not worry about what anyone else thinks. I’m going to surround myself with the people I enjoy being around, and if someone comes along who doesn’t set off any red flags, maybe I’ll give him a go.
I was also thinking, maybe love really doesn’t exist. Maybe a bunch of people are supposed to come in and out of our lives forever.
Evaluations & Masturbation!
Okay ladies, I hope you all did your homework because I did! Here’s an example of what your list should look like:
Guy: Problem
Guy #1 : Too controlling
This is never a good thing; guys who are too controlling tend to want to change you. And that just isn’t possible. Constructive criticism is welcomed but you shouldn’t be changing who you are for someone!
Guy #2: Nothing in common
- Sometimes there is nothing wrong with a guy, you just don’t seem to click. This sucks, but you can’t force feelings. Sometimes two people just aren’t meant for eachother. The only solution is to move on.
Guy # 3: Doesn’t want to commit
- It’s cool if you just want to have some fun with a guy, but if you want a relationship and he doesn’t this is a huge problem. You never want to like a guy more then he likes you!
Guy #4: Girlfriend
- Ah, the classic other woman syndrome. This should usually put up a huge red flag, but if you find yourself in this sticky situation and he won’t leave her, get out while you can! You will always be second best to her.
Guy #5: Distance
- Distance can either be a bad thing or a really good thing. Unfortunately it’s usually a bad thing. I’ve experienced once situation where distance was a really good thing. If you can have complete trust for one another and make the effort to see each other this could be amazing. It makes the time spent together more precious. But distance usually fails. Try not to fall for travellers.
So from this evaluation I know that I don’t want a guy who lives far, is too controlling/has trust issues, or can’t settle down. I also don’t want to get involved with a guy with baggage (girlfriend, or recently single) or a guy who has nothing in common with me.
Take your evaluation into consideration next time you start to really dig a guy. I think the big problem people have when dating in general is that everyone tries to put on this facade of someone they think is attractive and desirable. They try to be what they think their significant other wants, and eventually things get more comfortable and they let the “real” them slip out. Then the other person thinks “WTF!? This isn’t what I signed up for; this isn’t who I want to be with”. Then they bail out.
Before we get any further into this, I’d like to clarify that I am not here to give “dating” advice per say. I have been single for a nearing three years. I have no problem getting men in bed, it’s the serious relationship part that I don’t succeed in. However I’m happy, and I get laid. I think that sex is a very important part of womanhood. You need to have fun while you still look sexy, and you need to have fun doing it! I’m the Queen Lady Pimp, and I look good doin’ it!
I think every woman should take masturbation very seriously. Ladies, you NEED to masturbate. If you can’t please yourself and know what you like how can you expect a man to? If you don’t already have one you need to go out right now, and purchase a vibrator (you can get a cheap one for under 30 bucks, it’s a good beginner’s tool and it will do the trick!) and some lube (not saying any of you have dry vaginas!, a warming or tingle lube just makes it more fun and makes clitoral orgasms better. You can find a cheap lube at any drug store for fewer than 10 bucks). Oh ya, and don’t forget some GOOD batteries, cheap batteries lose their charge quickly and there’s nothing worse than a half dead vibrator!
Next, check out some free porn online and check out anything that arouses you.
Have fun! I promise you that you can satisfy yourself better than any man can!
Another fun idea, do another nice thing for your vagina! Get yourself a bikini wax or give a landing strip a chance!
Pimpin’ Aint Easy!
Ladies, ladies, ladies...now that you know exactly what a Lady Pimp is, we need to go over a few ground rules before you go picking up. Let's start with the basics;
1. You need to be confident and love yourself. You need to figure out what you stand for, and rep your style. Know what you like, this goes from your personality to your wardrobe. Be comfortable in who you are. Because if you don't like yourself, how can you expect someone else to?
2. You need to know what you want before you go looking for it. For me personally, I want a guy who can teach me things. I want a guy who knows who he is and what he wants out of life. I don't want a guy whos cocky, but at the same time I don't want a guy with low self confidence. I want a guy who won't try to change me because I love who I am! 
3. You need to be able to numb your feelings, It's good to like someone but no guy wants a girl who's obsessed. This also works in your benefit because if things go wrong, you won't care enough to get upset. You need to be able to move on when there is trouble in paradise. Which brings us to rule number four...
4. You need to know what "replacement therapy" means. Replacement therapy means that when something goes wrong with the guy you are involved with, you need to move on. And the easiest way to move on is through replacement therapy. This consists of simply replacing the guy. If you stop talking to one guy, replace him with atleast one or two others, so you are always in the game.
5. How to get out. You need to know how to a-wall when you're not feelin a guy. This means listening to your instincts, if you don't like him then theres nothing you can do about it. You need to always have an escape plan and you can't be afraid to break hearts.
6. Cherish your vagina. Your vagina is the most powerful source you have. It's what every guy wants, and you have it...all packaged up in a cute little black g-string. You need to know how to work it, and not over use it! This means don't put your pussy on a platter to share with the world, but also don't be a prude. Share your wealth when a guy deserves it.
Get these rules down pat.
Here's a little homework for you!
Make a list of all of your past relationships, and write down what you liked about it and why it didn't work. This will give you a clear understanding of what you do and do not want.
I'll reveiw mine in my next post.
Also, do something nice for you vagina.
What is a lady pimp?
As you may have heard before, when men sleep with women and tell their friends about it, they get high fives and they are often referred to as "pimps". When women sleep with men and their friends and others find out about it, the women are referred to as "sluts" This is a common misconception.
Of course us ladies like to have sex, its human nature. But their is a large difference between a "slut" and a Lady Pimp. A slut, by definition is a sexually promiscuous female who sleeps with a large amount of men. "Sluts" can often be seen wearing trashy, skimpy clothing. Sluts crave cock, and they don't care who's cock it is. Sluts usually have little, if any respect for themselves or their vagina. And they often have no chemistry or emotional feelings for the men they are engaging in these said sexual activies with.
A Lady Pimp on the other hand, is a classy female who happens to throughly enjoy sexual intercourse. She has respect for herself, and cherishes her vagina. A Lady Pimp dresses sexy, classy and appropriatley.
